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Good Afternoon
Photographer, Shelly Boyd

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Why’s The How’s…..Really how Can I get through this?

Ever wonder why your life is the way it is? Have you ever thought, “wow, is this really my life?” I am sitting here and realize how amazing and wonderful my life truly is.

Not that I am wealthy in money. Not that I own a big fancy house or that I have a brand new car. Not that I have nails done and perfect hair…..

I am thinking about all of the lessons that I have been shown, the lessons that happen upon me by accident, and the lessons that I had to be drug through kicking and screaming.

I am a proud mama of three amazing children, and pregnant with our fourth child. I almost died with both of our first two children and by all medical means I should not have made it through either one.

Our third child was God’s gift to me. It was His amazing love, strength and encouragement and gift for trusting in Him even when I was so scared to have another child after the first two.

This lesson is one of my greatest of all to learn. I will not be given more that I can bare. I will not be tested without the teacher knowingly testing my true abilities and not just my thought abilities.
You know those abilities that we ourselves limit our own selves. We somehow get stuck in rut, believing that our strength only comes from us ourselves, pushing, running, working, forging on and somehow we wonder why we are so tired. We wonder why we are so stressed. We wonder why it seems that no matter what we can never get ahead.  Key words: Why and I’s.

It is in all of my achievements that I look back on now….I was leaning on how much I could accomplish. I was banking on how much I could handle. I was swimming in a sea of why’s and how’s and oh no’s…

In a single moment, for the first time an un medicated labour, a healthy labour……oh my word the pain that I hadn’t the pleasure of being introduced the first two times around. The single moment where the rubber met the road….where I in my own strength, in my own body, in my own mind knew I couldn’t do it. I wanted those drugs. I wasn’t strong enough. I was not able. I was not willing anymore…and in that instant it was like God himself holding me and urging me and took over and said, “It is then in which I carried you!” “You got this” I gave birth to our third child, a daughter. No drugs and absolutely gorgeous! In the moments I knew that God gave me the gift of endurance, strength and perseverance and never ever left me for a moment.

Now…married for almost five years, we own and operate our own business, I homeschool our children and love our life. But there are still those moments of utter chaos, trials and tribulations….and His love remains. In the business, in the stress, in the OMW moments, in the disrepair, in the moments of pure joy, in the amazing moments of kisses, hugs and I love you’s….and all the mess, all the chaos….I know not ever will He leave me and not ever will I be given more that I can bare.

My husband and I were watching one of Pastor Danny Castle’s sermons and he read out this amazing poem. In so many times this poem showcases how I feel and how I want to parent. I want to share it with you.


The Race.

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failures face,

My downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.

A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,

Excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race,

Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.

Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,

And each boy hope to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,

To win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.

One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd, was running in the lead

And though, “My dad will be so proud.” But as he speeded down the field and

Crossed a shallow dip, the little boy thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace, and midst the laughter

Of the crowd he fell flat on his face. As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win

It now. Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face, which to the boy so

Clearly said, “Get up and win that race!” He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a

Bit that’s all, and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,

His mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again. He wished that he had quit

Before with only one disgrace. “I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face with a steady look

That said again, “Get up and win that race!” So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind

The last. “If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve to run real fast!”

Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten….

But trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again. Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear

Dropped from his eye. “There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try? I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”

But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face. “Get up,” an echo sounded low,

“You haven’t lost at all, for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall. Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place! You were not meant for failure here!
Get up and win that race!” So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit, and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit. So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been, still he gave it his all he had and ran like he could win.
 Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.

Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end. They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place, head high and proud and happy—no falling, no disgrace.

But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in the last place, the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race. And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud, you would have though he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd. And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.” “To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face, the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race. For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all. And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face, another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

~attributed to Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg


My prayer is that you are encouraged today. Not one of us is perfect. We do not need to win the race in the manner we think. You are amazing and you need to rise each time you fall. That is the greatest accomplishment through it all. Praying you have an amazing day.

Stacey Homemaker.

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