It’s amazing how two years can speed past like a locomotive!
After my endometriosis surgery in 2008 I was able to conceive our second child a boy. (His birth story coming up at the end of August! ) After the emergencies of that labour and delivery, the postpartum issues, and all that entails the doctors explained that I should be able to conceive again but…….if my cysts were to return that the chances of conceiving would be minimal at best.
So we gave it to God and let Him have it. Our second child was 14 months old, we were caught in the middle of a heated court case with my biological mother and living in a fifth wheel trailer on my father’s homestead on the reserve. I was working at our Band School as a Receptionist/lunch lady/supervisor/everything that needed to be done! My cheque was small and had to feed, clothe and house two adults and two children. Needless to say that conceiving a baby was not high on our list of worries. Although, we were wondering why hadn’t we conceived yet….our second child was nearing 14 months old, an age where most women are already pregnant again(provided they are not on birth control of some sort). *1*
Then it happened, a cyst! I had the worst horrible pains, pains that sent lightening bolts from my toes into the top of my skull. Our vehicle wasn’t working and so my dad had to drive me to the diagnostic centre in our town. Going down the property, rocks, bumps sent me into a wave of nausea and extreme pain. It was like having someone take an exacto knife from the inside and cut your muscles in long strokes.
The doctor gave me a shot, and a few pills to help me get through the rest of what was happening. The cyst was going to burst and when it did the pills would take the excruciating pain and ease it! This also would cause me to be extremely loopy, drowsy and make me sleep for about 12 hours. Then two days of harsh flu like symptoms and then it would be all over…..
I was devastated. I was afraid. I did not want to go through having endometriosis again……..I also started to grieve, rail, anger, and finally got down on my knees.
“God, if this is the end of me being able to have babies, it is your will! I trust that you know whats best for me, for us and for our family! You have seen us through so much already, I know that whatever will be, you will let it be for the best of us and me! Although, I am angry and sad, I am going to trust you. We made a promise, a covenant that we will trust you for the size of our family, we give it to you and now I am going to restart my heart and renew with the same. We are blessed with the two miracles that we have. We are blessed with eachother and we are blessed to have you guiding our lives. So I give it all to you!”
The next few weeks passed and I started having dizzy spells, nausea, aches and pains…all of which I chaulked up to my renewal endometriosis. All of the same symptom’s as being pregnant for me.
Although, I had a renewed sense of faith, a renewed sense of peace, a renewed love for God and God’s will in my life!
An elder of our band and I were talking…I still remember her sweet face, the knowing smile, the way she laughed and said, “Stacey your pregnant!” I still remember laughing it off and patting her hand and explaining what endometriosis meant for my body. And the way she dismissed my explanation with an all knowing smile and left it at that. That being said, my hubby decided that was enough for him, he bought me a test! So on Dec. 15th, 2010, Grandmothers birthday the stick came up as positive.
At first, confusion, baffled and then plain old stunned..this couldn’t be! I had a cyst, I I I I….then my hubby with tears in his eyes said, “Not I, Not We but God!” Praise the Lord for another blessing!
We chose to go with a midwife this time. I had enough of doctor’s and all that surrounded that. (when I write about Malachi’s birth, you will understand!) So we found Willow Community Midwives in Penticton and were able to get in to see them.
I have to say I have never felt more comfortable, or that birth was such a natural happy time. After one hour appointment I was at ease and comfortable. Until, I had to go and get “approved” for midwifery care, that was scary but all in all I was with my midwives for my prenatal care. I was able to get to know each one of the four midwives at the office. I was able to trust, and get to know each one. They let me talk out all of my fears with them, they gave me valuable advice on how to deal with each fear, pain and what not! Now, they also gave all of this to me without having to ever say, “here’s a pill!” they are highly educated on natural ways of easing all sorts of things, they are highly educated with how to deal with so many wonderful things. I felt always important and heard. I was validated and listened to.
Our midwives were excellent when it came to my modesty at all times, they were attentive to all of the things we were not going to do with our baby and our pregnancy. They were amazing with research and knowledge to back up their opinion and advice! They were always my advocate, my voice and in turn I trusted them with my life and they life growing with in me!
Prenatal care with Willow Community Midwives, was and is my most valuable relationship between them and us! If I can help it, I will chose to always have this amazing group of women always be in charge of my prenatal, labour and post natal!
At 36 weeks gestastion, my blood pressure was sitting at 100/80 and would not budge….so we had to be checked out by a specialist. Now, my midwives were pro’s. They were my voice, my advocate, my champions. They made sure that the maternity ward was well aware of my modesty, my privacy and our religious beliefs. They made sure that everything I went through was explained in detail. They were loving, caring, nurturing and direct when needed. They kept my hubby always in the loop with every single large or minute detail! I had to go onto some mild blood pressure meds. This scared me so much, but having the midwives and a really understanding specialist, I was at ease. We informed them if needed we will be induced at any time! The health of the baby and me was first and foremost! They said that was good if we needed to but they felt perfectly at ease.
At 37 weeks, I felt like my water was leaking…I had a lot of fluid…went in got check out. Turns out I had gotten a very routine mild infection and needed to take some antibiotics, the specialist checked me out as well and decided to induce but she wanted to wait till I was 38 weeks. The midwives were amazing. They were so awesome, even when I called a hundred times….for every small thing that at the time seemed so big. They were gentle and kind and reassuring, even letting me come into be checked even when I know it was to only ease my mind. They were such amazing people, to care and to really take care in this way. I have never had that ever!
It was explained that I had to take it easy, because this particular weekend there would be not maternity staff on at the hospital. If I needed I would be transferred to Kelowna where my midwives would meet me there…..Both Sean and I did not want that! No Way! No Sir! No How! So for the weekend I remained a vegetable sitting, waiting….it was the longest 48 hours ever! No on Monday, I was scheduled to get this labor started at 10am. So, that morning I, did everything I could to help it along. I also had a half an hour bath so I felt refreshed, clean and ready!
We got to the hospital and by the time they checked me I was already three centimeters dilated! J They tried to break the waters but It did not work out so wonderful! So hooked up on monitors and and iv and then to just wait! It was nice, to know that in a few hours we would be holding our baby! That this was going to be right now that I was in good hands that I was with people that had my best interests at heart. To know that I was surrounded with amazing people was Gods gift to me! The labour started with in the hour or so, I was frustrated because I had to be on the monitors, thankfully my midwives kept coming in and taking them off so I could go pee, walk around…..after lunch it kicked in and the contractions were wonderfully and painfully hard!
I was able to sing hymns through most of the contractions…and then they broke my water….whoa nelly that was hard but the midwives were there, comforting, supporting. My wonderful Hubby was there helping, comforting, laughing trying to make me feel at ease! I went to go pee, tried different positions, and then went back to lay in the bed. Then the pain was more than I could take. I felt useless, I felt that I was weak, and not able to handle this. This was not going to work. No way this normal childbirth is for me. Lord, help me. I cannot do this. I cant I cant I cant I cant…..Sean looked at me and told me it was ok that I get some meds. That I didn’t need to do this naturally. It was ok. From where he was standing, he cannot believe I was as strong as I was thus far….because he could never endure pain like this! So, I opted for the needle to relieve some of the pain….minutes later my midwives came in and there was no way I could take it anymore…GIVE ME THE DRUGS! Still praying for God to grant me reprieve from the horrendous pain, sad and more sad, because I really wanted to go all the way with no drugs…..the nurse looked at me, they explained there would be a few minutes to get the medicine. Then the pain, hard, forceful…..where is the pain Stacey? In my mind I was like, really where do you think it is….lol but I communicated nicely….then the midwives checked me, smiling, and said you are ready no time for those drugs….your baby is coming…..
In an instant, God stepped in and wrapped me with His arms of strength and mercy and courage….no other explanation can explain what happened and what came over me…God gave me what I could bare and then took me the rest of the way. Now, after I was terrified, for with our second child I had blood clots…..the biggest was the size of a serving dinning plate…so naturally when my first pee came around and there were clots I freaked out….my midwives were there (literally in the bathroom) to wipe away my fear tears, to explain, to reassure, to hold my hand and make sure I was ok. I will never ever forget what compassion, what amazing women these midwives are! The best care I have ever had in my life!
Naturally, our baby girl came into this world. Naturally, our child the beautiful baby she was healthy, and beautiful. We praised the Lord, for the gift that was given. I praised the Lord, for the Lord showed me more in those hours than anything I have learned in any other expierence. He gave me strength, he gave me love, He gave me mercy, He gave me endurance, He gave me will power, He gave me perseverance, He gave me His word and He Delivered.
No emergency, No worries, No long hospital stay! Miraculous! 24 hours later we were back at home and enjoying family, and friends.
Our midwives were amazing. Post natal care was phenomenal! Even when I called every few days about this little fear or that. They answered each and every time with patience, encouragement and grace!
God gifted me these women! God gifted the exact everything that I had needed. I am blessed and humbled by what God has shown me and gifted to me!
Thank you to my husband, whom is loving, caring and stern when needed!
Thank you to Ally and Michelle for being there all the way!
Thank you to our friends that watched our two gorgeous children!
Thank you for reading how our beautiful Zara was born!